insightful insights

Theory of bewada evolution!!!!!

2008-01-19T10:30:00.000-08:00

PHEW!!!!!! its been quite some time since i wrote anything in my blog. let me see when was the last time i wrote anything in my blog. eeeps....!!!! that was before the first trim exams.... imagine it took me so much time to recover from the trauma that i am writing a blog after second trim exams!!!! 3 months coma in fact.... but to add flavor to my break, i would say that i devoted this time researching..or wait...... yeah....evolving is the right word. I was evolving a new theory.
AND here u have the theory of bewada evolution!!!!

in the span of 9 months in bombay i have noticed too many wild wild people trying to pay ode to the spirit of spirits (was that sounding idiotic?). Err....actually to be very accurate i have noticed a pattern of behavior exhibited by the glorious drunk and merry junta.
So lets get to business and analyse these kinds......

1. Two pitchers of KF and and one shot of hard liquor....HICK!!!! HICK!!! burp!!!
Now that can qualify as drunk by the standards of even a guy with KEG capacity....
Symptoms:
Broad smile on face. "Buddy" this word is used more than 10 times in a conversation spanning 2 minutes. Oh!!! what a flourishing friendly love!..u might think. But the next 5 minutes will have conversations like this...." Buddy you are a Bas****!!", "Buddy what the F*** !! are u trying to make fun of me?" , "Buddy, get ur A** moving"
these people start Swearing at will as if these words are going to be banned from tomo.....

2. Haywards 5000 and 10000......emptied and arranged on the table like the nine pins....
DRUNK? U bet... hell ya!!!!!

Symptoms:
They are highly immobile people.... they come home in the oblivion and the most important activity for them the next 2-3 hours is going to be ..UUUUUUWWWWWAAAccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!! the jus download in broadband mode.....imagine this.... they even puke the paper chits they had swallowed in 6th std exams before being caught. The restroom is their den for teh whole night and even if u want to take a leak..u might want to think twice before asking them... or else u might have a pukey experience.

3. They analyse the balancesheets of the companies and decide which liquor to drink and get smashed...this is basically to increase the patronage for the sick beer companies...... considerate people in the making!!!!

Symptoms:
Draw a straight line and ask them to walk along this straight line. If they end up drawing the LOCUS of lines or hyperbolas or parabolas. Then u can confirm that they are in different world altogether. Minimum 2 rambos required to transport these people back home. They have lost the art of walkin tall... or shld i say ..they have learnt the art of flying high..HICK!!!!!!

4. These people just feel euphoric to say cheers. CHEERS!! gulp!!!! oops forgot to say cheers to shublet..... here u go CHEERS!!! ! gulp!!!second down......all of a sudden, he hears a CHEERS!!!! from the back.... gets outrageously angry..orders a third one....and raises a individual cheers in anger of being left out...... GULP....now all he can hear is cheers.....state of nirvana reached....

SYMPTOMS:

basically you will notice the symptoms the next day..... this guy will be emerging out of bed the next day with his TIE, BLAZERS, SHOES, SOCKS in tact. And he will unassumingly ask did i come late from the office yesterday. U will feel like swearing at him heavily for the CHEERS marathon he involved u in yesterday. Buy nonetheless bewadas never get the IRE of the public. its only the laughter...he he he he!!!!

5. These people are the most special...they can audition for broadway theatre and get the protagnist role coz their mood swings are world renown. All they need is some budweiser and fosters in their elite company.

SYMPTOMS: its all well and good till the last gulp of the 4th bottle goes in. Then they are one of the most happy people in life.... here is a testimony.... one of my roomies(for the record...most paranoid when it comes to studies).. jus mention trimester 3, education, Finance paper, placements etc etc in front of him. If you don't hear any of the following reactions,
1. OH!!!! S*** yaar, i have study....
2. What the F***, there is so much to study
3. Oh my god i am already mind f***ed
4. i will go to the college for night studies from tomo...
then u can safely assume he is drunk and merry. Infact most happy in his life. infact no one can get happier than this, if my roomie forgets abt studies even for a hour.

this evolution theory holds good in quite many circle i guess. and if u are able to find ur friend suiting one of these above mentioned profiles, then yeah have proof for consistent mass behaviour.

After all this research i have started wondering....will i ever get high on more than 3 rounds of pineapple juice so as to fall in one of these categories....tat was the most indirect way of saying i don drink..he he he he....!!!!

N.B:I jus came from TOTO's before writing this blog.....and i swear i had only LASSI over there!!!

Mentally depressed intellectually repressed week!!!

2007-09-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

where is the zombie??? well the zombie a.k.a me was dead walking(well err..its sleep walking the other days... bu these 2 weeks i was awake forcefully) for the past 2 weeks because of the e.x.a.m.s which drained the 2 vada pav, 1 thali,2 samosas and shitty dinner energy daily.

Its not the amount of studies that takes a toll, it s the general scare and void created by it which is energy sipping. And add to this the twenty twenty world cup which was by large the most important thing in my daily schedule....watch toss, india batting, india bowling, final presentation, then indian team going to the loo, then to the hotel and till they go to bed to sleep.... err then i realise that i have a exam the next day.... but wait...i have even more important thing to do now...tish!!tish!!tish!! i slap myself for forgeting this...how can i forget to do this...

yeah.... its time to get to bed and do the most important asana in yoga....nidra asana...lay flat on ur back and close ur eyes.deep breathe inside and out...if possible get a blanket and cover ur face also.

phew after a tiring session of yoga... i get up to read...arghmmm... well before that i read the newspaper...for current events?? naaa.... just to read what mr vajpayee had to say about indian team's victory... imagine i would even read classifieds column if it has a mention of cricket... I read the same stuff which i had seen the day before... but still would read it and get excited and kick my roomie who is sleeping peacefully after night-out-studies session(sin number 39870 accumulated... well if ask me what my 39869 sins were.... it was denying myself sleep for the n number of times after coming to mumbai).

Hmmmm then after all this thoughtful exercises which are not even remotely related to exam preparation... my roomies scare the hell out of me.... they have covered 80 percent of the portion and i am yet to read the subject name...

*SARKAR THEME MUSIC PLAYING IN BACK GROUND AND HEAVY GLARES EXCHANGED BETWEEN SRINATH AND THE PILES OF WORKSHEETS*

well that was a sfx special effects induced to inform the audience that i have become serious..(uhahahaha!!! uhahahaha!! well thts my roomies laughing their heart out...

tish!!tish!!....thats me responding thru violence... people..u need to accept... i can also become serious in life!!)

Now that i have become serious... i wage a losing battle with the subject... and most of the time it gets the better of me. But i don't lose heart... i just tear the pages and throw them in the dustbin... just to show them who is the boss!! YEAH!!! BABY!! I AM THE BOSS!!

exchanging saddam hussain looks with the bits of papers in the dustbin...(but after a while i go to my friend and ask him.."err...dooode whats their in lesson 5.can u lend me the notes"..these were precisely the same notes i had torn few minutes back..)

hmmm well so confident after the heavy weight preparation... i go to the exam hall to give the paper....thinking i can give a better performance given the fact that we have relative grading. But all the people are useless...they waste their time...no body is ready to join my league....the league of the intellectually repressed lot.

Hmm.. exam one...a sense of small rod being inserted with smooth effect..

exam two.... the rod has become a boulder....and no smooth effect.. its shoved right up.. ouch!!!

exam three... outright rrrraaaappppeee!!!bachao...

exam four...lost sensation..... but same intensity being maintained...

exam five...comfortably numb... now its free for all... all side mental rrrraaappee...

exam six seven and eight.... retired hurt!!! need supporter to walk...

Exam nine.....dead... silence observed...procession held...1/6th manager version1.1 released...

i.e the official trimester over...

phew....now i am here writing my stories and in this process dedicating my cgpa to the indian team for which one soul has rested in peace.

noteby: there was no exam nine for us.... i din realise this...by the time i reached exam six seven and eight..i was in nirvana state and any event happening around me was running on the back up power of my brain.....

jai india!!! jai trimester!!!

We don't need no education!!!

2007-09-09T05:25:00.000-07:00

OOPS!!! was the title misleading??

I swear i just wanted to convey the idea that MBA curriculum is quite heavy and we just need a break.... (this is what happens if u start writing at the middle of the night..err sorry early in the morning hmmm to be precise 2 a.m....random thoughts are just let out!!)

And did we deserve a break?? Hell 'yeah'!!!.......

So the junta decided to chill out...in the literal sense...so the place was decided-matheran.

Err... well before proceeding further..

a small advertisement*- this trip was conceptualised, planned and executed by Mr SUPTACK-who-gifted me-a-designer-tee-GANJOO and Ms MALVIKA-who-commited-the-crime-of-filming-me-while-I-was-sleeping-in-class-NATH. clap!! clap!!clap!!

(* disclaimer--psst!!psst!!audience..the above print ad was published under distress....u have no choice when there is a gun at point blank range right on your head!!! look at their evil smile...nahi !!!!!!!)

LOL jus kidding... well thanks to them it was a great trip....

well now that the place and the date was decided..it was time to pack our bags and hit the road.

everyone decided to meet up at 7 in the morning...err..but theye din't mention If it was MTZ(mumbai time zone) or CTZ(chennai time zone). So due to this miscommunication i was a bit late...so late that even the girls had turned up before me...isin't that unbelieveable!!! (this is the most hopeless excuse i could find for being late..please accept it.. :-( )

We took to the most beloved lifeline of mumbai-the mumbai local to reach the destination.

And an real funny or rather amusing incident followed...

there is this character in our class called KARTHICK-who-is-the-source-of-south-indian-food-for-me RAJA.

He had just got a new mobile fone few days back and was just reminding me of the fact that i had misplaced my phone. In a goodwil gesture i reminded him of being careful about his belongings in a mumbai local coz nothing thats outside your body is safe while travelling in a local train...i repeat...nothing is safe. So all the more reasons for him to safegaurd the lil-johny...err..i would like to clarify one thing here...by lil johny i meant the fone which was precious to him.

station 3- our hero is listening to music and rapping...YO!! MAN!!

station 6-same music, same rap

station 10-same music, same rap but a small difference..the lil johny is now lost.

He din even realise which station he lost his mobile... YO!! MAN!!

After some useless attempts at registering a complaint...we proceeded further...

the trip uphill was always going to be exciting...we jus needed some messiah to drop us at the top of the hill so that we can continue our trek and adventures.

But i guess asking this messiah to transport 12 people in one van was a bit asking too much.. jus look at it..and see at the reaction of the driver...he he he he..amen!!..god bless the convicts

Believe me....i had a chance to witness a VAN doing the wheely stunt with the heavy weights sitting at the back.

After some enlightenment..we decided to take an extra van and reached the destination-yipee!!!

Since Matheran does not allow any vehicles after a point.... we had to take the natraj (good ol feets) service to walk our way to various destinations.

The hill station was amazing treat for the nature lovers. Amazing views and to top it all amazing climate. Totally fog set backgrounds, dense green cover and lonely paths. Pefect setting for a trek freak to let his adventurous imaginations let loose. The gang was totally energetic and the face to face interaction with their distant cousins(err..a fancy way to relate to the monkeys) gave them a boost. Well there are few fotos from which u will come to a conclusion that indeed we are in some way or the other related to these monkeys.

After a looooong looooong walk around the trek venue....yours truly discovered the largest waterfall in the world....err...(well the water fall was a lil less than 6 feet..eeeeee..smiles at large..)

sorry for the exageration..but still i get the credit for finding this stream and we had a amazing time wading thru this stream. Checkout that link of pics which has the so called NIAGRA FALLS of india.

We spent some quality time in the stream wetting ourselves....PHATACK!!don even dare to think the other way..what i meant was that we got drenched in the stream.

Phew!! the trip got theh better of us and every one was damn tired. So it was time to get back to mumbai...another city which is never short of adventure.... and we already had a victim of mumbai local adventure..he he he!!!

But wait!!wait!!

we were not going to leave matheran before leaving some memories behind...

after a tired day at trek....this is what we did finally...

Hey!! Hey!! don't come to any conclusions.....

We thought we should get a final glimpse of the deep valleys of matheran and were having a steep look.... nothing of the sort u ppl are imagining or have concluded upon. The nature was calling upon us to witness its beauty. wink!! wink!!

The way back was not that eventful...i was in the state of trance because of the extreme fatigue levels.... infact i could here people swearing and fighting with each other in my half sleep.... later it was confirmed that was a group singing merrily..... so much for my state..i could not figure out that it was quack!!quack!! err..sorry sorry....i repeat i could not figure out that it was a melody sung in passion...

hmmm...but till date my doubts are still there.....was i really in trance or...were they singing or quacking??? I have good control over my senses....so i presume they were great singers...(the sarcasm to be noted).

this post is dedicated to the monkeys, waterfalls,horse shit in the pathway and of course to the spirit of our class.

P.S Hey...if the people involved in the trip are reading this post...please mention the other events that i have missed out...

FASHION....DAROOO...BEWADAAS!!

2007-08-30T09:01:00.000-07:00

The monotonous classes, presentations, guest lectures and the PPTs(we call it "pandu presents trash") are not the only way a MBA grad lives his life. We also get to let our hair loose...(well the girls in our college get to do it every day..they call it fashion...yeeeeps).

So now that i have said MBA grads also party sometime .Ok!!.. i guess few of the readers might object to the word 'some'.. and would want it to be replaced by 'always'...but remember..i don want my potential recruiters to belive i am jobless.(phutack!!! my classmate hits me..saying...the whole world knows u are jobless!!) So much for my image!!! sheesh...

Well getting on track..where was I???..yeah about partying and letting our hair loose...

We had the unofficial freshers party hosted by our seniors..which was unofficial for the reasons known to all---ethanol. Well the party was hosted in a pool side open area...And as you all know it was the occasion for all the boys and girls to get super dressed(thank my generosity for calling all boys and girls..) . I said super dressed...not dressed like super man or woman...well....errr!!! though i did spot few entries eligible for halloween costume party...lets not get into the details of that...

Well talking about getting dressed for the ocassion...The preparation in the hemu villa was quite frantic...Wear Shirt, jeans and shoe and......tada!!!! ready!..we call this super dressed by our standards..coz daily to college we pick up random dress and wear it... we don't even bother to figure out if we are wearing a jean...errr...sorry!!sorry!!...wrong pair of socks or not.

But i heard a different story about the preparation in the girls hostel for the event...

Source: insider mole.

1. I heard that in the 3 days build up to the fresher's night.. the owner of the women's beauty salon near the women's hostel got a new mercedes...thanks to the high percentage client visit and cash inflow. I am still wondering what could be the reasons for such a high influx of customers.

2. Someone spotted a lakhme stall just outside the hostel.. a strategic exercise to tap into the high market demand for their products

3. I also heard that all of a sudden ritu beri, ritu kumar clones were spotted in the hostel premises giving tips on various party wears.

(I swear..this is the Heights of sarcasm...girls of my college are going to kill me someday..sos!! sos!! Zee plus security needed!!!)

Finally the party day arrived and every one was in a party mode...And yours truly was also into the party mode...But only one thing was missing... A dance partner...But alas....i din have that trouble also... I managed to a get a good looking girl of our college as my dance partner...The story about convincing her to dance with me and the real experience in the party is exclusively reserved for another post in this blog. For maintaining her privacy and the basic rules of personal identity in a blog i have not posted her photo...however you can access her foto in her webpage.

The minute i entered the pub my heart went for a holiday to honu-lu-lu. It could not take the shock anymore...u want the reason?- So many models in the pub!!!...for a moment i thought mithibai college girls had gate crashed into the party. But nope...it was NMIMS women batallion.

whoa!!!! There it goes...the shock was as good as having three shots of taquilla.

("damn it u !@#!@#!@ srinath..will u now come out of this girls topic!!!!")well that was my girl friend calling up to give a friendly warning...hmph!!!..okie lets move on with the other dimension of this party

Hmmm now it was time for everyone to make merry and dance their way to glory.

First round...gulp!!! Second round...gulp!!!........................eighth round...gulp!!!

Now most of my friends were in the state of nirvana...and were even moon-walking across the pool!!!... i over heard one guy proclaiming himself to be George Bush...and even shook hands with another guy who proclaimed himself to be osama!!!! way to go...out here in mumbai..we were redefining world politics.

take a look at the league of extra-ordinary gentlemen after the dance and the party...

Look at my sleep deprived and tired eyes supporting the weight of fellow commorades...That is the true spirit of friendship...(no no no..not the other spirit... though i might look smashed...i was perfectly sobre that day..... :-) hope this innocent smile helps u guys believe me). People became a lil more affectionate towards me and in return i even got half boiled omlettes...(a similee used jus to omit the gory description of yuuwaaaaaaackkkkkk!!!!..he he he he he!!!)

and what do i have infront of me?... a valuable designer t shirt!!!

Well this was the small trailer of the freshers night we had....thanks to our seniors and organisers. they need a special mention for the good show they put up.

P.S

1. I hope girls of NMIMS don take it seriously.... i was jus joking... i know u all are a true sport..

2. How many of you visited that webpage of my date...i hope u will appreciate what u got out of it..wasn't i lucky?...he he he he he he he!!!!

3. Special thanks to all the talli..a.k.a bewadaa..a.k.a samshed people who provided for lot of amusement and eventful scenes in the party.

eat!!..khaoo!!...saapudu!!...kazhikinu!!..multi cultural food habits

2007-08-19T05:43:00.000-07:00

Coming out of the protective confines of the Mom's home-made food... i have 2 whole years to just try out the culinary delights of india in a culturally vibrant city like mumbai...(hmmm... heights of hypocriticism!! I have not even tried 2-3 styles of cooking after coming to mumbai!! he he he he!!!)

No longer is my morning breakfast served right at my seat... I need to get up early and take a bath...(someday i am going to kill that guy who discovered the art of taking bath...such a waste of time and precious water!!..) get dressed and leave home and try finding place for breakfast somewhere...(try!!!..naaa!!!.. we scavange for food right from the morning!!)

and eventually we end up eating in the canteen for the vareity it gives us...(hmph!@#!@.. trying to be politically correct...we have vareity of dosas which has a dose of batter still left uncooked...then the sandwiches which is over in 1 and a half bytes...idlies for which we have sweet sambhar which tastes like jaggery...see the vareity we have!!!!).... well we chose the less lethal breakfast , eat and get to classes. After the series of lectures (yawn!!) we get grossly tired and our stomach rebels against functioning normally if we donot oblige to its cravings..so we are forced to have the most important meal of the day..namely lunch... well when i was in chennai..we had the so called concept-unlimited meals!!! but out here that is a sarcastic term...the only thing we get in unlimited quantity is water...and ofcourse the ALOO which is served in every meal of the day...(i even doubt if the morning milk and the energie that we drink is substitute of potato starch... even green vegetables have started lookin like the great lil devil ALOO)
we eat the ever so popular trio of dal roti and chawal. someday this is going to be our national food like the national animal,bird etc etc. The daily menu has become so monotonous that anyone who brings food from home...can only see the hands going in and coming out...before he can realise that the food he has brought has been devoured without mercy by the ever so gentlemen like students who jus came out of the dining ethiqutte classes in biz communication..he he he he(i always wonder.. why such a simple process of eating is complicated by this so called dining manners..its a definite no no for me!!)
Well in the night we get the food delivered at our place(no prizes for guessing the menu...i have even started having dal chawal dreams...) but on weekends we go out to eat...and to our amuse we find that almost all the restaurants are packed...i sometimes wonder why people come out to eat when they have the option of eating and enjoying the home cooked food...(for heavens sake..we bachelors shld be allowed first to eat at any restaurant...of course after the beautiful ladies who are waiting...after all we are still bachelors u see)
and finally after a long week we get a chance to eat the legs of chicken... brains of the goat...liver of the fish...tear the hands of chick...cut the stomach of the fish and break the bones the lil gotie..
ohhhhhhhhh..was that descrpition about non veg was very violent? If you feel so...please don call up peta...i was jus kidding... i don even eat egg....(blink!! blink!! staring innocently)
I just tried to sum up the feelings of carnivores who at the slightest chance of eating a moving creature can do anything for u...

hmmm.. this very much sums up the way we feed ourselves....to stay functional... its no more "eat well like a king and work hard like a labour"... "trying eating food first...then think about work"

insights into my student life!

2007-08-08T06:35:00.000-07:00

Finally its time to get serious in life!! (nodding my head in disbelief!! it took me 22 years of struggle to find out what seriousness actually meant..and how to apply it in real life ...) Now that i have understood the gravity of the situation... its time for our heavy weight dude- seriousness to log into my brain component and give me the sense of responsibility in life. And guess what.. this is the correct time for me to get serious about life...management education...the chicks...party...mass bunk...bird watching...music...movies...err...sorry sorry...that was for some other post...typing error..i swear...believe me..damn it!!!!srinath be careful before letting out trade secrets.... we will once again rewind for the reader's benifit...this is the correct time for me to get serious about life...management education...the presentations...the cgpa...the summer and exec placements..corporate interaction. Hmmm.. now that i have become serious...what is the next step towards maintaining this tempo??? yeah u guessed it right..attend all the classes with rapt attention and understand the concepts clearly so that i can apply them in real life situations. And hence i have started a new journey as a responsible student... and first day afternoon class after lunch i get back to the class with the newly made resolution.... and five minutes into the class..i am listening to the concepts with immense concentration( my room mate gets up...and makes a violent gesture with his middle finger...and shouts at the top of his voice.."u jerk..all u have been doing in class is doze off five minutes into the lecture.. without even a speck of guilt") phew!!that violent gesture was not called for...amen.. junta agreed i sleep in classes which are real gyan types..but now to suit my new resolute image... i no more sleep in class (roomie again gets up in a angry mode) .. ok..ok...chillax...i will try not to sleep any more in class.

Now that i have discovered that sleep is the one thing that makes me not serious about life or education in particular..i decided to make the lectures interesting for myself by adding my 2 cents in the interpretation of business gyan or fundas...

yeah.. i have become a gyan guru for myself....self proclaimed remedy for the evil called ignorance.... he he he he.. my new avatar...

If u take a closer look at the pic u might notice that i am wearing tie on a tee...this is a strategic exercise to become totally professional in a casual environment...

Now in every class i come up with my own interpretation for the business jargons used...

1) class lecture on Business communication:

scenario: writing back to the customer denying the credit facility to him

Teacher says: we regret our inablilty to extend the credit facility for our new and medium sized customers.

I understand it as: You loser!!!.. we don't give credit facility for mediocre companies producing lolypop sticks...move on u sucker!!!!

2) class lecture on financial analysis:

The teacher says: the credit rating of this company is very poor and is liable of defaulting on loans offered to them.

I understand it as: This jerk of a company embezzles money from the banks and shows the the middle finger instead of paying the repayment amount!! their credibility is as high as insuring a suicidal moron!

3) Class lecture on Micro economics:

the teacher says:The price change in supplemenatary goods affects the demand of our primary goods.

I understand it as: snapping my finger!! this is such a simple concept....when a girl(supplementary goods) with new hairstyle and better looking attire is walking across your class door... u tend to forget or look beyond the girls(primary goods) in your class.

4) Class lecture on financial mathematics:

Teacher says: when a creditor charges a interest rate of rs 3 for hundred rupees borrowed payable in advance.. the effective rate of interest is 44.23 percent per annum.

I understand it as: what the F!@# .. this guy is a creditor or a loan shark... no dumb ass will end up paying 44 percent interest for the money borrowed...unless he is deeply madly and truly in love... err the analogy was for the mere fact that love is blind..and it often blinds the guy...(yeah yeah.. i can see my girl friend already trying to blind me for this statement...so in all probability..from next time I will be a physically challenged blogger..wow!! what a new term to coin!!!)

Phew!! With the new perspective on management subjects designed by me.. i am sure i have become much more serious about life and education and am able to view and visualise the larger picture called the reality...

But when i sit down to share this with my classmates...they jus laugh it off... what the hell!!!whats wrong in my perspective...is it not a new idea... or was it a still-born idea...

hmmm..time to put on the thinking cap...

signing off in deep introspection...is this a broken bulb or a birth of new bulb??

P.S: hi all.. this is srinath's inner voice...if u people think he is now in deep thinking mode after this so called heavy and serious post...please be enlightened that...he-the useless !@#!@#.. has gone back to his party ways again and never will be able to comprehend things seriously... coz seriousness and srinath - its an oxymoron.. cheers..

Whats with this G.Q!!!

2007-07-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

What the f!@# is this G.Q .... i have heard of I.Q, E.Q and even G.K (dare u guys question my profeciency in these three areas!!...we will safely assume dat i cracked all this quotients with dream scores!....so humble of me!!...). I recently got to know what this stands for...Girl Quotient...gone are the days when a guy was considered a cool dude for his G.K , I.Q ..etc etc ..whatever..... believe me dudes....now ur dude meter is gauged by ur Girl quotient...

please read the following definition..which will soon be added in wikipedia...courtesy yours truly

A Girl Quotient or G.Q is a score derived from one of several different standardized tests attempting to measure intelligence about women. G.Q tests are used as predictors of flirting achievements. People with low G.Q scores are sometimes placed in special-needs education(what the f!@#.... please don ask me what education), and people with high G.Q scores are placed in gifted programs or enrichment programs(yeah these bas!@#s take away the girls).

Hmmmm..nobody can deny the fact dat almost all guys fall for girls... and are apparently suckered into voluntary suicide.....(i swear....i can already hear some women screaming at the top of their voice...and hell yeah!!! ...i am dead meat!!...am i losing my G.Q???)
Even Adam who was happy roaming freely with his dangling organs (keeeeen!!!keeeeen!!) was eventually doomed for life by the ever so intelligent Eve... yeah dudes..start believing...we are the losers... and still love losing.... (all smiles!!!....roomies start giving a looooooong speech about how they fell for woman and had absolute bliss!! its all tears now and emotinal scenes...finally family sentiments portrayed in my blog...so u !@#$ moderators...please rate this as UNIVERSAL..certified blog)

Not to be left behind in this area of intelligence...our dudes of hemu villa also have a daily conclave....read as Secret Conclave...(yeah!!! yeah!!! only the cats in the compound don't know about the discussion...coz its busy developing it G.Q to become the cool dude with other kitties)..and the topic of discussion...err..what else u morons...G.I.R.L.S.... we have the in-house statistician....one who knows how many girls in each section and their C.V....the guys with decent G.Q sharing their experiences and resource management techniques...and finally the guys with low G.Q receiving some gyan from the so called winners. and admist this yours truly taking the Minutes of the Meeting for the benifit of future reference...(Phew!!!finally i could manage to get a imaginative role.... and maintain my diplomatic stance!!!)...

Uhahahaha!!! now its time to put our plan to action....the evil laughter beckons....

scene 1:
time:8 30 am
location: Hemu Villa
Now that discussion is over and its time to sharpen our so called G.Q...... the dudes are dressing to look their best... the deo sprays are being used in high density.... pshhhhhhhh!!!! pshhhhhhh!!!
(ploop! there falls the lizard which was sticking to the wall...)....some hair styling and after scores of poses in front of the mirror...they wear their socks and shoes(ploop! there goes the other lizard falling from the wall....i swear some day this couple is gonna file P.I.L) and go to the college....with a mutual understanding....dat if anyone of us is sitting with a girl in the quadrangle...the other guys wil wave from a distance...and recognizing their wave..our hero wil call them near and introduce them to the girl...

Scene 2:
Time: 2:00 pm
Location: College quadrangle

After some gtalk, sleeping, day dreaming, listening???naa..,and some pysical presence in class lectures..it is time for a break!!!yipee... and our protagnist some how manages to have lunch with a girl... perfect...we spell it p.e.r.f.e.c.t s.c.e.n.e ...and its time for action... our hopefuls wave promptly at the lucky chap...and jus as u people guessed...the dude..errr....should i say...ditches??...yeah.. ditches the lot and looks the other way...as if the whole world is left sided...and there does not exist any other direction..
the girl thinks these are a set of wannabes jus waving at the helicopter flying-by...and there goes the chance for the lot to improve their G.Q...

the secret conclave ceases to exist and all the members become defunct by the single act of dishonesty of the league member..they swear on their life not to discuss this G.Q anymore in life....they feel dejected..(as if they din know that this was going to happen.... bull crap...their chances of getting an intro by a fellow member was as high as spotting mayawati in a pub!!! )

@$!@%%$#%^@$#.. swearing at the accused.. they decide to tear him apart when he gets back home.... all is ready for hell to break loose...and the traitor enters....everyone charges upon him... this defenceless chap bears the brunt...after 5 minutes of verbal barrage... things calm down.... they recognise the truimph of this lucky champ...praise his luck...and there you go...the secret conclave has started once again(what the f!@# happened to the oath and the promise u might ask....we guys will never stop this discussion till pamela anderson do us apart ) and once again i take down the minutes of the meeting wink!!wink!!

Disclaimer:

1.Please don mistake dat the characters in the story don do what they were supposed to do-study management education...
believe me...they are learning the new art of management...chick management...
2. this story is fictitious and resemblance to any real events is purely coincidental...(he he!! as if u guys are gonna believe this point)

"we tried our best and yet failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'..."-inspired quote for people who are as straight as jelabi...and who feel G.Q is not relevant for them.. he he he !!!

Update: Type girl quotient + srinath in google and u wil get my blog .... is google upto something??? hmmmm....

peace out

Sweet little violence on birthday!!!!!

2007-07-17T01:19:00.000-07:00

FOREWORD: But-tock [P:buht-uhk]-either of the two fleshy protuberances forming the lower and back part of the trunk.

for the advantage of my family audience....please read the definition before proceeding for 2 reasons
1. Coz few guys lost the functionality of this organ...and are in search of a replacement surgery
2. this constitutes the central theme of this literature...(hmmm..eeps..literature!!!...did i say that...sorry guys this is not an erotic literature...so if anyone of u reading with that intentions..my humble apoligies...why the ff!@# am i apoligising for readers pervert intentions...i guess i have lost it somewhere...lol kidding...no harm intended)

Well...the most remembered day in a humans life is his birthday...yeah the unfortunate day that we all chose to increase the population of the world by one...(hmmm...not taking into account...future references and potential*wink!! wink!!*..i am pitching in with a conservative estimate!!)

and this is one day that special some guy or girl is treated as a special dunce.. and yeah is being raped monetarily(yeah!!yeah!! thats the reasons he gets special attention...we selfish nuts...wil never grow up)
But hemu villa studs choose the other way to celebrate this joyous occasion...with a cake and Much more importantly...BirthdayBums!!!
Just watch this video to understand the technical details of how to kick the Ass..not only proverbially but also realistically...
while watching the video...check out the following
1. one guy is wearing only one shoe..jus to increase the intensity of the reverberations with his blows
2. one other guy is exercising along with the mass just to take back his revenge
3. The central character or to be precise the protagnist of this show...losing every bit of the sensation left and losing the eligibility to sit comfortably on any plain surface... tchu!! tchu!! tchu!! deep regrets from my side...rest in peace!!

To maintain the hero and the stud image on this blog and for viewer discretion... my video has not been included in this post so that i maintain the hero image and attract the female audience...*or should i say everyone was so much invloved in kicking my
--- that they had no time to capture those gory violent footages which could cause heart attack to even hercules*

the aftermath of this nuclear explosion is pretty evident from the fact that the restricted and highly fibrous cushion pad of the victims has become a non entity... and the ability to s(h)it has also become as complex as sub atomic particle acceleration...well the point i wanted to convey was...err..what was i conveying.... sorry got confused with particle physics and biology..saary ..eee

taking into account the serious repurcurssions and the deadly intentions of my friends...

july 8th every year has been declared as dry day for bum kicking... this is a national emergency protocol.... well thats my b day if u guys din know...trying to spread around peace message atleast in my pretext... well done srinath..clap!!! clap!!!

another point...

the perpatrators of this crime.. please pour in with ur views in comments section..as to what pleasure u derived out of this....

and as victims of this crime...share ur after disaster management and recovery strategy to keep ur posterior functional

and normal viewers..ur feedback as to shld this noble token of love be propagated and made into an act for the future generations to understand its beauty...

harey rama!!!

P.S: this is the victim's reaction after the footbal session

Come on boys.. time for sports!!!

2007-07-11T09:19:00.000-07:00

yeah guys .... now that the 11 was formed... its time to kick some err.... get into action... and play some sports... some one came up with the idea..lets play footbal in the beach *whoa!!! wow!!way to go!! we shal dig it!!* there was sparks flying high.. and every one instantly became beckam, zidane, and ...and..and hmmm yeah ganguly.....skreeeesh(*eeps..did i go over board by mentioning the latter....god bless me..slip of tongue..but does he not play footbal in the crease*) extreme high energy and every one was more than ready to get it started... finally some sporting action.... next day morning i get up with stary eyes jus thinkin that i wil get to move my lazy legs.... and what do i see!!! rains outside... goodness gracious!! and i hope i have dissapointed faces around me in the room... but alas...everyone is sleeping as if there is no tomo.... !@#$!@$@#!$ .. . what the f!@# ... i was the sucker who believed guys are very active and were gonna get up from their bed for some good neat play...
i become nostalgic....
hmmmm ......a small flashback about this sucker's sporting galore.....

its sunday morning... alarm rings at the right time....vision is clear... the focus is right...i have my milk.....some sun screen...sun glasses right up there in its position....shoes put on... there u have... a player.... now taking the bat, the professional cricketer is on his way to the lush green grounds to play the subtle game of ........hmmmm well..argh hmmm....street cricket....*!@#!@#!@ why the f!@# was that build up for?????? u might ask..... but then believe me i played that game as if we were playing in the lords... and apparently that ground was also lords of our area*

tennis ball cricket is amazing game... u got to play it to feel the thrill involved with that game..a group of around 15 people assemble for a light game of soft ball cricket *did i say light.. pardon me.... u must see it to beileve it.. bowlers abusing the batsman with the filthiest words...and fist fights happening for matters as small as....bowler was wearing yellow underwear while bowling... huh.. as if any other reason would bring about peace in the mass *
here is a group which flouts all the possible rules in the lawbooks of cricket...and players using sublime techniques of the game...whoosh check out this video of our ace batsman trying to hit the tennis ball... read the word trying... but the ball got the better of him

well if you think that was a sound technique shown by our batsmen .. then you are yet to see other set of players....we innovate new shots and play cricket as if it was tennis..he he he he....

check out the pavillion...

l to r: jacks guru..the dude with the sungls me..adi..santosh

and this is the trio:

again the banda...praveen..guru... bindaas players....

we break the glasses in the neighbourhood... i broke one with my fine leg glances and that is still a standing testimony....apparently.. that glass was not fixed and i also din pay for the same till the building was brought down.... amen...
imagine... all working guys coming on sundays in shorts... and we gang up to play like kids.... phew.. will never grow up...
long live street cricket.. long live smiling fox cricket club...

R.O.O.M.I.E.S

2007-07-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

well.... now the banda has come to hemu villa for his maiden away from home innings... and to a place u all know.. hemu villa (*esooos me!!! please stop murdering the name hemu... its h.e.m.u not the other name u guys are obssessed with*). Hostels have a creepy reputation for ragging and other *wink wink* matters, but i was fairly at ease and comfortable given the fact that i will be living in a flats. that too a fully furnished flat (*for which we are being charged.. i mean attaaacked!!!! with a hefty rent which would give a complexion to 7 star hotels.... err not in facilities.. jus in money dude..... hmmmmm...would it not be nice if were also given nice services and a greeting from the beautiful receptionists like in a hotel*)

Well the first look at the flat was satisfactory .... roomy, with loads of space.. typical 3 bhk.. with a biiiig hall. and was wondering given the fact that only 2-3 people had turned up as my roomies. thought the whole hall was to myself... (*sheesh too much of imagination on my side... i guess i will beat J K rowling some day*) and finally my roomies .. all of them landed up... andthus finally the h.e.m.u villa 1st floor group was formed.

we have characters in our floor.. real characters....

AYE-J- hmmmm oldie goldie but name any girl and he knows her- courtesy orkut or college quadrangle

AYE-J 2- there are only 2 ways about a trivia.... either he knows it.. or the fact is wrong...

An Mole- sobre at all times but has his way around with people.. and is AYE J's partner in crime...

Ab-Shake- dude who decide things at the impulse of events..decisive.... oops that was pun unintended.. pardon... nice dude.. who gets up before me and goes to sleep after me... am i missing something here??

Door-Pin- Stud muffin.... abhishek style hair band... can be mistaken for a member of fairer sex from behind.. he he he.. after all we live in h.e.m.u villa..

Pressed- Oops does the name sound provocative???? well this stud is too waiting for something like that despera..errr no no jus like that ... he he he... his KREC experience speakin...

Gaurd off- well the other guys are gaurded off coz.. every day this guy is seen with a different girl .. makin things difficult for others..

Maddy- madly friends with our A-GAY.. sorry sorry AYE-J... naaa kiding....

a seriel petrol bunk... no limits to load... official guzzler...and as of now a finance certified stud too

RAG- OH- seemingly calm and unfazed by girls typo pretence.. but unofficially trying to steal the resources from AYE-J's friend list.. tough competiton... orkut is his adopted home.. even if he is lost in ptu-ku-fumlu islands in some part of the world.. u will touch base with him thru orkut... orkut servers having sleepless nights because of him

Subka-sarkar- well man of limited words... but he puts it in nicely at the right time that even sachin cant beat him in timing...

and finally urs truly.. for whom no introduction is needed.... (*well atleast thats my my safe assumption to save on few lines abt me and of self destructive drudgery*)

this is the official 11 .. a.k.a the team of h.e.m.u villa 1st floor... and when this group gets to open house discussion.. well the topic is .. err girls.....and when the groupie get tired of it... take a break and again talk about girls....this excludes the urs truly ..... (*hmmm again a face saving line*)

goodness gracious.. i thought we all aspiring managers were here to study management theory.

goodspeed

MUMBAI MATINEE-BHEJA FRY PART 2

2007-07-01T05:29:00.000-07:00

Now that the dude has lost the IT professional tag and gained the b-school student tag(*as if i have been conferred with a post doctrate after being a grade 1 researcher..phew these days i indeed keep imagining things in extravagant ways*), its time to pack bags and leave chennai. Chennai has been my pally right from my childhood days and the strong idly sambhar flavour distintive of chennai is my basic mantra and cosmic energy for my bodily functions. Leaving chennai and friends for a good 2 years meant dramatic scenes at the airport and emotions running high like in the daily soap flicks. But alas that was not to happen; 2 groups landed up one after another for my farewell...err or rather should i say to check if this dude (*eeeps dude... i used this word for the betterment of my family audience..in reality they were much more provocative....na na much more decent*) It looked like a goat sacrifice procession and and my friends clicking my photos..hmmm may be for the RIP slab on my grave.. ha ha ha,, kidding... the scene was much akin to that...the people around me thought that i was going for some arctic expedition or something... that was the build up given by my compassionate friends (*!@@#$ used in lieu for lack of better words*). But thankfully the second group was much more decent and well behaved (*this is just a figurative speech.. though these three are also equally well known for their traditional leg pulling*)

left to right: Kulla vivek(*he is as tall as me when i was in fifth standard*) , me (*no comments*), vetti guru (*though professionally he is a TL in a bank BPO still considered the vetti for being the oldest one to hang around with young guys like us*) and Scene hari (*do i have to eloborate on this? in short fizzy*)

these 3 again part of my close network of dear pallies... and infact they cried their heart out when i left them to check-in(*sheesh am i going over board with fiction*)

Well after recieving the farewell and electric send off.. it was time to board the flight and say buy buy to chennai. Was feeling bad inside for having to leave chennai... but i needed a motivation to keep myself charged for rest of my journey to the MAXIMUM CITY. just then i checked my boarding pass and a flash bulb lit in the Hypothalamus portion of the brain(*jus a try to show off that i too studied biology once upon a time... pardon me :)*) well to put things in right perspective.. let me tell you that the thought of being served well by the air hostess was the motivation i was talkin about. With high hopes i boarded the flight just to find out a woman saying "Beta welcome aboard the flight to mumbai.. happy journey". there went the motivation out of the window -45 year old air hostess is heights of dissapointment.. and i slept tight for the next 1-45 min (*Indian .. best experience... this is what apparently the ticket brochure says.... damn.. mera IA mahaan..!@#!@ *)

After a eventful journey (*did i say eventful... heights of creativity!!!*) i reached the city of dashing bollywood. After taking my baggage i left for my apartment in vile parle juhu...

we live in a place called homo villa... oops sorry hemu villa (*in reality this villa has a high influx of guys... imagine 39 guys inclusive of all the floors and no sign of fairer sex population*)

finally i reached my apartment and this was the begining for my 2 years of hostel life as management student.

the transition is evident...............

slow aamchi mumbai flavour hitting my senses...........

MUMBAI MATINEE-BHEJA FRY PART 1

2007-06-26T01:25:00.000-07:00

WORK

CHOOSE YOUR POISON

MBA

From being a IT working professional... read the word working...(yeah junta.. i had work to do in a IT company from my initial days itself... quite lucky right?*a wicked grin*) to a MBA student in mumbai... the poisoning..errr...transition is evident... is it not.... ok ok.. u might say i look smashed in both the photos... but atleast i look decently smashed in the first one right! (*a person with intelligence quotient 150 plus would apparently say that I look professional in both the fotos source-abc science journal*)
yeah student ways are here to stay again... no dress code... no restrictions... no time sheet to fill(*raising my collar in profound joy!but sad enuf to find that i am wearing only vests at home*)... but others remain the same.... the slogging... dead lines...the expectations.
and extra cherry on the top being weekend classes and guest lectures.i always thought weekends were for going out with friends to movies... and for khana-peena outside(*sheesh people please raise your horizon beyond ethanol.. i meant H2O only*)

But where did this all start? hmmm... let me do some retrospection.... (*gulping down a bottle of sprite and into deep introspection *) It probably started in my last year of college. I was in a great frame of mind.. with great many options in hand to carve my future...
1.Higher studies (*whoa!! study till 30 and toy around with my core subject and become obssesed with it?...din suit my personality*)
2. Give my UPSC exams for airforce (*well as you all know i had a very good physical fitness for all this that i was over qualified for the job!*)
3. Give My MBA examinations (*well i considered this and gave it a shot just to find out that i could score only in mid ninety percentiles ..thought of blaming arjun singh for even this..eeeee*)
4. Take up a job in a IT firm
5. Join the elite ivy league of jobless people.

Well did i say that i had great many options at the begining of this para??*smiling end to end*
So made a wise desicion and took up the job(*as if i had any other option... see how wise i am*)
and thus started my journey as an IT professional. I was delightfully gyan fed by the seniors that i would have to slog it out in the training period and be on the bench for months.. all these turned out to be as true as the metreological depts forecast.
work and only Work... thats the rare commodity i have been gifted with basically all these years.. and all of a sudden being fed a lot of it meant defying law of averages... and dare i go against the rules of the nature!!!.. so i dutifuly obliged by spacing my work with mails chatting and looooong breaks... or should say work in between all these..*wink! wink!*

Hmmm but where did MBA come into picture ?? you might ask....
i am coming to that only...
i had a great motivation.... and devine enlightenment through mails only.... quite strange right...
i used to get chain mails... all about managers and how little they work....whoa... it did strike a bolt in my mind... work little and earn handsome... all these mails subjected to that idea only.
*drinking sprite helps a lot..i repeat sprite.. not spirit... grow up people!*
no work and loads of money.... jus my type of material...eeee...
so the MBA devil inside me woke again after a slumber...knocking on the doors... and inviting me to the world of dreamy eyes...*i could have done better with this effect right?? i am low on creativity sensors in my brain.. blame it on the LKG teacher*
and i joined a test series in obiquitous but called famous institute... and the slogging exercise for 2 months started again....
and after a good scores in MBA ebtrance exams... finally was admitted in one of the good b schools of india...
(*acting like a ideal person in the interview and passing the litmus test is indeed a oscar performance material... i mean it... encore !!!!encore!!! i spent sleepless nights preparing the script for it*)
I read sometime back that if you cant make it.. then fake it... me a direct decendant of chinese manufacturers..eeeeeeee :-)

well then what else.... i packed my bags and eagerly awaited the mumbayya sojourn....
aamchi mumbai.. from singaara chennai....mein aaaya mumbai

P.S: well i tried being professional at best in the second foto... can't u all figure it out??